Saba Imtiaz: Everyday is a winding road..

I think one of the best things about blogging through my term is that it will really help during transition =) Anyway, I just scrolled through the archives..and this has been one interesting year..

In January, I returned from a vacation in Lahore, with a suitcase full of pretty shawls, a notebook full of scribbled thoughts - and the realizations on cold winter mornings, when I sat down alone with a cup of tea and realized that all that glitters isn't really gold. - I also ran for LCP and was elected..was part of our 2nd official recruitment and worked with one of the most fun teams ever..and cleaned out the office, only to discover enough materials for a time capsule..

Along came February..I burned out with all the work I was doing, went over-worked and over-stressed to a conference that I did not enjoy, for reasons other than my personal state of mind, and wondered whether being LCP was the loneliest job in the world.

In March, I started my term as LCP officially..rediscovered inspiration..and discovered the best EB team ever :) I also went through an experience that potentially should have sent me scurrying to the hospital or a psychiatrist..yet I went to AGM instead.

And in April, I remembered again the misery of goodbyes..

In May - Nida got on the CC! - shortly after she told me she didn't think she would :P - Tori left; and it didn't hit me till much later..and I discovered a side to myself I really didn't like.

June - birthday month! The MC and Puneet arrived, 7 of us got stuck in an elevator (teaches you a lot about crisis management) and conference planning drove me insane..

July - Nicole arrived, and lots of great conversations over coffee ensued, NPM happened..and then JNC - and I realized I'd possibly had the most challenging summer of my life.



Aug - We went to IC 2006 in Poland - and I made two very important decisions - both of which made me discover happiness that wasn't codependent on other people.

I came back from IC in September, to realize I felt a short-lived disconnect from the LC because of all the activity that had happened while I was away, and then it hit me that I would soon be an alumni and would feel like an outsider, looking in.

In October, we ran the best induction EVER, and welcomed the next generation of AIESEC Karachi. =D

And in November, we went to NYDS, and I realized how much I'd grown professionally throughout my term in AIESEC..which probably stopped me from picking up my 60 page copy of the Compendium and using it as a missile during legislation..instead we made some hilarious roll-calls out of the most interesting of legislative moments.

And I write this on a cold December night in Karachi, wondering what I'll be blogging about in Dec '07. I know this - I'm very thankful for all the people who have waltzed into my life this year. I hope I celebrate each day of 2007 with them.

Over cups of tea and coffee, purchased with canteen 'credit' (when you're a daily fixture around uni, there's no way they can deny you the delayed payment option)

Me: I wonder what it must be like, to live this perfect life that you've always dreamed of..
Sharz: But how boring...then what are you striving for...?
Me: Excellence?

inspired
alone
creative
quiet
reflective
wondering
depressed
exhilarated
dreamy

i wish there was a word to describe the way i feel right now.

or to say thankyou in a way that doesn't seem inadequate.

Its 10:30 PM and I have been awake since what seems like eons.

Yet, the events of the day keep flashing into my head.

My day started with me waking up incredibly tense and nervous, yet very excited. In 2 hours, I would start the proceedings of electing the LCP for the year 2007-2008.

Watching Omar, Saaim and Sadaf present their plans & go through the Q&A sessions was an intensely amazing experience. I felt like I could connect with each one of them when they mentioned their strengths and weaknesses; and mentally thought - "hmm..so I had the same problem..I'll coach them how to deal with this during transition.."

I felt so proud - while I did my presentation & application while on vacation in a serene environment; these three did theirs during a week of stressful exams and project presentations..

..and yet, the quality of their plans & their strategies, their hopes and dreams - for themselves and the LC..I could see each one of them as LCP; and doing some great things for the LC.

Congratulations Saaim. I look forward to your term as LCP, as a proud ex-LCP next year :)

7 days to submission of application.
I think I should be freaking out right about now.

Despite the fact that we're studying for finals, giving presentations left right and centre; we can't stop ourselves from checking into the labs every 5 minutes to catch AIESEC Lahore's live updates from their EB elections! Thanks Nida! :D

you know how sometimes a line from a song just hits you?

the more i see
the less i know
the more i like to let it go

snow - hey oh, red hot chili peppers

I woke up this morning
and realized that I miss you so much I wish you were sitting right next to me.

I absolutely hate forwarded emails and chain mails and all promises that I will get the true love of my life if I send this to 20, 30, 500 people. But this, which I stumbled onto on Facebook, is brilliant:

20 Reasons a Girl Should Call it a Night:

1. I have absolutely no idea where my bag is.

2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my bootay while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too. ("bitch...i ain't playin'...)

4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Lily Savage than the goddess I was just four hours ago.

5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. snack on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.

6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.

7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work or enter the class room.

8. I can't seem to stop making phone calls to people I haven't talked to in years.

9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my biology teacher.

10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.

11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.

12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.

13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just cranberry juice, but that's just because I can no longer taste the vodka.

14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor.

15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."

16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.

17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

18. Boys you would never be attracted to seem to look amazingly hot... and you might end up kissing one or two or three.

19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.

20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.

I think I really like filling applications. It was a beautiful day in Karachi today and I feel absolutely inspired. Despite having given 4 exams in the past 3 days on minimal sleep, using the key tools of drinking coffee/tea excessively and listening to jive music on full blast to survive, I feel this absolutely amazing rush of adrenaline as I type out the words. I feel myself moving between the past and present as I recall from memory how I felt everytime I filled out an application.

And I have finally started reading again! (Something I NEVER have time to do during the semester) I'm reading Desperately Seeking Paradise - Journeys of a Sceptical Muslim by Ziauddin Sardar, an absolutely fascinating insider view into the minds of so many of us these days, and the questions that form a part of our very selves.