Saba Imtiaz: Everyday is a winding road..

I have no words to describe how I feel right now. How I've felt for the past 2 days..butterflies in my stomach..the endless waiting..

4 AM:
Me: How much longer?!
Emad: Still hours to go..we're on page 3 of 15 of the legislation booklet..

Me: (Need someone to talk to in case I'm planning to stay awake despite steady exhaustive breakdown) Are you planning to stay up till we're legislated?
Kurt: Dunno..I don't think I'm going to make it!

Set alarm for 6 AM..and go to sleep.
6 AM:
Wake up, check MC blog. Legislation is still in progress. Laugh at stories emanating from plenary via nomadlife.

9:30 AM:
Wake up without an alarm. Instinct. Blindly head towards PC. Check MC blog - extensions legislated. Refresh blog. See post. "We did it!" Message Emad, who yells the same. Message from Oksana, who'd said she'd let me know whenever it happened. SO excited for Jordan!! :)

The emails start pouring in. I remember the cold, tired afternoon in December at SDC '05 when we created the vision for 2006, promised that we would constantly strive to achieve full membership status by IPM 2007 in Egypt. Miss everyone. Wish MC 05/06 was here so I could hug them. The emails keep pouring in..:)

Gabiza is PAI!!!

I'm so excited - for the 2nd year in a row I stayed up to see the results - and its been SO worth it! :) I remember once wondering with Delia about how we had such few female PAIs...I also remember the first time I met Gabiza at IC..when she started laughing at the rather interesting conversation Rabia and I were having across from her..we live in SUCH exciting times! =D

Just had a really long voice chat with Delia - even though I was lying down in my living room at 3 AM; I felt we were still somewhere in uni, having a random conversation about life and love; which would inevitably include the phrases "You're crazy!!" and "Boys are stupid." I miss you! :)

The past few days have been quite great.

Highlights?

Sleeping well for the first time in days; deep, dreamless sleep.

Going shopping. I used to love shopping - and then I went to Delhi and shopped so much I literally never ever wanted to bargain again in my life; or look through piles of clothes and wonder whether any of the stuff I was buying was actually wearable.

Rediscovering inspiration; from conversations with friends, between answering questions that all seem the same and yet aren't.

Watching Police perform at the Grammys! I was torn between screaming like one of those incredibly annoying teenagers in My Super Sweet 16 or sitting still and listening to a great rendition of Roxanne.

Going to Espresso and the randomness that usually ensues there - from acquaintances of my sister mistaking me for her (we're identical twins) or running into mutual acquaintances and having conversations while sitting at separate tables.

Making vacation plans. If all works out; I will have my first proper vacation in more than a year. If not, I'm just going to go into hibernation. Either way, I'll be able to get away.

Labels: music, random musings

I have to say - I love this website. I am rediscovering all the music I have copied away somewhere on CDs which are gathering about six inches of dust; and the music I grew up listening to.

These past couple of weeks have been interesting. I think nothing you read, or hear, can prepare you for the feeling of stepping into the unknown. And there is no way I can describe it. When people ask me how I'm doing, I shift into autopilot mode. How can I define what I do not know or understand? I am trying to understand. Thats all I can say. And interestingly enough; I've found myself connecting to people I've never spent time talking to in the past, or have briefly met. I think there is a strange comfort derived from the fact that somewhere in AIESEC, someone knows exactly what you're going through. And that comfort level takes about a minute to achieve. :)

While talking about IC with a couple of friends a few days ago, I remembered again the best element - the conversations. Random, fun, inspirational, motivating, helpful. dramatic. And I say dramatic because some of the moments I had only belong in a movie that is scripted to be as unreal as possible, or you daydream about while trying desperately not to be caught falling asleep in class. I think years from now, I will remember these small details more than the actual enormity of the experience, and perhaps these small details are all I need to remember of how I felt like, at that moment.

Anyway, random shift in topic. I saw Borat a few days ago, and I hated it. I actually kept stopping the DVD, going back to doing some work or reading, and then switched it back on and hoped that at some point, I would get why everyone's raving about it. Maybe I've just become too culturally sensitive (can anyone ever be 'too' culturally sensitive?) or I just don't find triviality hilarious anymore. And I've felt this way for a long time. We live in a very strange world. And I get the feeling that its about to become a whole lot more stranger.

Labels: conference memorabilia, music

Where did I go wrong
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life.
- The Fray: How to save a life

Labels: music