I rarely use this blog to detail my personal life - I write on another blog for that. But this is something I feel like sharing with my friends in the network.
This has been an interesting week. One that has seen me deliriously happy, extremely hyper and at times a bit overawed at the strength of my own emotions.
Over emails and conversations with the YouCan'05 survivors, LCP friends who are now taking up some extremely exciting opportunities in their own MCs and international MCs (I'd write a list of names but honestly, it would take up too much time. I am intensely proud of all of you :) ),
Jo and
Emad, and my friends - I know
this: we all stand at this juncture between the comfort zone and unknown, regardless of whether our future seems secure or hazy.
This feeling hit home yesterday more particularly. I was sitting at the table in the MC mansion, imploring the Milano delivery guy to bring our pizza as soon as possible as I was dying with hunger, and laughing at Emad's Martha Stewart moment (which involved him scrubbing every surface and dish in the kitchen until it shined). I later went to have coffee at my favorite coffee shop, sitting alone, wishing someone had not gotten to the crossword in the paper before me, and everything was well - just so familiar. I know this all, at the back of my hand. Where to, and where not to order food from. What are the best shopping bargains in Karachi. What is the ideal fare to pay for any part of the city. How to avoid getting stuck in traffic (thats becoming obsolete now though)..
..these are the questions I know how to answer. While having a chat with Oksana a few days ago about what clothes I should bring to Jordan, I had a flashback to last year, when Delia and I were making a list to send to Joanna about what she should bring (it also involved Delia trying to translate certain things from their description and their Romanian name to English =P)
While this step away from the comfort zone is extremely exciting, it is also surreal. Is this really happening to me? Do I actually have to pack for a year keeping in mind that airlines only allow a 20 kg baggage limit? Which airport in the Middle East is the one I'd rather have a 10 hour stopover in? Will I disconnect completely from my LC and country? Will I really not come back to Karachi during the year?
These are inane questions, I know, in the bigger scheme of things. These will spark the bigger questions. The ones that really make you lose sleep, rather than suitcase packing trauma.
But in the inanity lurks the realization of the comfort zone being replaced by the unknown factor. Not the unknown of the decisions I have made, but the unknown of how I will
change in this year.
I look forward to re-reading this in March 2008.
Labels: future, random musings
